Just for Kicks & Giggles

Be at 1st Mariner Arena Friday night to see Giuliano Celenza's second to last regular season game. (Photo courtesy of the Baltimore Blast)

I promised you more Giuls, and more Giuls you shall receive.

As we learned earlier this week, the 2010-2011 indoor soccer season will be Baltimore Blast forward Giuliano Celenza’s last. This is his 11th season, but with 26 points on 11 goals and four assists, he ranks fifth on the team.

He’s not exactly washed up.

“I think he’s probably one of the best pure finishers, goal scorers that I’ve been around,” said head coach Danny Kelly, who played alongside Celenza during his own playing career. “A ton of natural ability, and from the day I first saw him and played with him, the first thing I noticed was his ability, how well he could strike a goal. Almost always on target and that natural ability you don’t see very often. He is one of the best guys that I’ve seen. He’s got a great touch, great feet on the ball, and he’s had a tremendous career here.”

But Celenza says it’s time. In fact, his body is telling him it’s time.

Man, I wish I could listen to my body every morning when I wake up at 7 and it tells me it’s time to retire. Le sigh.

While Celenza won’t be on the field, the homegrown Highlandtown native isn’t going anywhere. He plans on watching next season’s games from the stands with his family; his 5-year-old daughter is one of the fans who is very upset he is retiring.

“I can’t thank [the fans] enough for all the support they’ve given me over the years on and off the field,” Celenza said. “So to them, thank you. Hopefully they’ve appreciated me for the 11 years that I’ve put on a Blast uniform. And obviously thank you to [owner] Ed [Hale] and the Blast for the opportunity to play, especially in my hometown in front of my friends and family.”

Now it’s time for some Q&A, Giuls style.

SW: Do you have a celebrity lookalike?

GC: I don’t think so, what are your thoughts?

SW: *silence*

(Sidenote from Staci: OK. I blanked. I’m supposed to be the interviewer. Not the interviewee.)

GC: I mean, I don’t know if he’s a celebrity, but a lot of people say I look like Joe Torre. See it?

SW: He’s a celebrity.

GC: See it? Maybe?

SW: He looks so much older than you though.

GC: Yeah, I don’t know who I look like.

SW: Alright, Joe Torre.

GC: No, let’s come up with something better.

SW: Alright, I’ll think about it. So do you have a celebrity crush?

GC: Jennifer Aniston. I might even go see her movie on Saturday.

SW: The one with Adam Sandler?

GC: Did you see it?

SW: No, it looks funny though.

GC: I heard it was good. Jennifer Aniston, I love that girl.

SW: What would you be doing if you weren’t playing soccer?

GC: What would I be doing if I wasn’t playing soccer? I guess I’d probably be having a job in the real world.

SW: It sucks out there.

GC: Yeah, you’re right. I’m not ready for that. Probably just working in a cubicle. What else would I be doing? What would you be doing if you weren’t writing?

SW: *silence*

(Stumped me again, Giuls.)

GC: Huh? *laughs diabolically*

SW: Yeah, but everyone can write, not everyone can play soccer.

GC: Not everyone can write.

(Yeah, I don’t know why I said that. I’m an editor. Thanks to my first job editing, I’m well aware that not everyone can write.)

SW: Rock, paper or scissors?

GC: I like rock.

SW: If you were an animal, what would you be?

GC: A monkey.

SW: Why?

GC: I just really like monkeys.

(I won’t mention the fact that monkeys throw poop at people. Oh, did I say that out loud?)

SW: Three words that you would use, if you could only use three words to describe yourself.

GC: I guess fun. … Wow… That’s a tough question there, Stace.

SW: We can come back to it.

GC: Yeah let me think about that one.

SW: If you had a theme song, what would it be?

GC: Ah, come on.

SW: That’s my favorite question.

GC: That’s a tough question. A theme song, huh? It would have to be somewhere in the “Rocky” era. Like his theme song. “Eye of the Tiger.”

SW: That’s a good one. Do you have a favorite spot in Baltimore? A favorite restaurant? A favorite bar?

GC: Favorite restaurant would be my mom’s house.

(Three words: Italian mama’s boy.)

SW: Nice. Meals are always on the house.

GC: Yeah, that’s it. Favorite restaurant…I don’t like going to eat Italian because I get that at my mom’s, so I like steak. An Outback probably.

SW: What’s your favorite sport other than soccer?

GC: Football.

SW: You’re a Ravens fan.

GC: Huge.

SW: Kind of a disappointing season.

GC: Yes. Yes.

(Three words: Sad Ravens fan.)

SW: Do you have a favorite sports movie?

GC: I’m not a real big movie guy, but the hockey movie, “Miracle.” That was a good movie. I did enjoy that one.

SW: Do you like Starbucks?

GC: No. I’m Dunkin’ Donuts, baby, Dunkin’ all the way.

(Three words: Dunkin’ Donuts, baby.)

SW: Do you get any of the fancy drinks there or just coffee?

GC: Coffee, just straight coffee. I can’t afford Starbucks.

SW: Yeah, I know how that goes. Lil Wayne or Jay-Z.

GC: Jay-Z. Isn’t he with Beyonce?

SW: Yeah, but I heard they’re splitting up.

GC: Are you serious?

(Three words: Giuliano the Enquirer.)

SW: I don’t know if it’s true, but I heard it on the radio.

GC: Wow.

SW: Do you have a nickname?

GC: Giuls. Well. Now the guys are calling me Guillermo because the guy from Chicago on the internet called me Guillermo.

SW: Awesome. Well that’s it, except for the other two words to describe you. Or I could give you a free pass on that.

GC: Just give me a free pass. You have to give me a heads up on that one.

(Three words: Heads up, Giuls.)