Don't even pretend like you didn't expect me to reuse this photo with the first chance I got. (Photo courtesy of the Baltimore Blast)
When I sat down to interview Worteh Sampson, one of the Baltimore Blast’s offseason free agent acquisitions, part of me knew I should be intimidated by the 6-foot, 211-pound forward who last played for the now-defunct Detroit Ignition. But as soon as he came over, I knew we’d be fast friends.
How, you ask?
Well, he refused to shake my hand due to the fact that he was holding his gear in one hand and a chocolate chip cookie in the other. Hey, I support that. I don’t put down my cookie for just anyone either.
Second reason? He told me that one of my prior posts in particular was “hilarious,” and let’s face it, I eat up compliments like they’re french fries.
So let’s get to know Worteh Sampson.
SW: Do you think you have a celebrity lookalike?
WS: A celebrity lookalike… Some people say I look like Michael Clark Duncan from “The Green Mile.”
SW: I’ll have to look him up.
WS: Yeah look him up. But I don’t think so.
(Sidenote from Staci: I don’t think so either.)
SW: No? Well who do you think you look like?
WS: I don’t know. I don’t think I look like anyone.
SW: Well, we’ll figure one out for you. Do you have a celebrity crush?
WS: Halle Berry.
SW: What would you be doing if you weren’t playing soccer?
WS: If I wasn’t playing soccer, I’d be coaching soccer.
SW: And if you weren’t coaching?
WS: I’d probably be working as an advertising agent.
SW: How come?
WS: Because that’s what I majored in in college.
SW: Rock, paper or scissors?
WS: Scissors.
SW: If you were an animal, what would you be?
WS: I think I’d be a lion.
SW: I think that’s a good one. Three words you would use to sum yourself up?
WS: Kind gentle giant.
(Ho ho ho, green giant.)
SW: Aw, I like that one. If you had a theme song, what would it be?
WS: My theme song would probably be “Lively Up Yourself” by Bob Marley.
SW: Since you’ve been here now for a few months, have you picked a favorite spot in Baltimore? Any bars, any restaurants?
WS: I go to all those places in White Marsh. I would have to say the Tilted Kilt.
SW: Ooooh, I’ve heard about that place.
WS: You’ve never been?
SW: I’ve never been, but my guy friends tell me the waitresses wear very low-cut tops.
WS: Not really. Nah. People say it’s like Hooters, but it’s not even close.
SW: Hmm.
WS: I don’t think they’re showing a lot. That’s not why I go there.
(Yeah, those girls really cover themselves up. That must be how they got themselves a calendar. I wish someone had told me when I was studying journalism in college that I could make more money by wearing a plaid bra and serving something called “Fat Bastard’s Meatloaf Sandwich.” Mmm.)
SW: Sure. Sure. So do you have a favorite sport other than soccer?
WS: Basketball.
SW: Favorite team?
WS: Detroit Pistons.
SW: Do you have a favorite sports movie?
WS: Yes, “Remember the Titans.”
SW: Do you like Starbucks?
WS: I love Starbucks.
(I’m telling you. Me and Sampson. Same wavelength.)
SW: What’s your drink?
WS: White mocha. Yes, I love Starbucks.
SW: Lil Wayne or Jay-Z?
WS: Oh man. I have to pick?
SW: You better pick right.
WS: I’ll pick Jay-Z.
(OK, different wavelength.)
SW: That’s not picking right.
WS: But you made me pick. I don’t want to pick.
SW: Do you have a nickname?
WS: People call me the Giant.
SW: And did you do anything fun for Valentine’s Day?
WS: Yes. I did. Valentine’s Day, I got my wife and my kid some flowers. And the lady actually that sold me them, I was getting two sets of roses, and I said, “This one is for my wife, and this one is for someone else.” And she looked at me like –
*makes a dubious looking face*
I said “It’s for my two-month old daughter.” So that’s what I did, got them flowers.
(You hear that men boys? Get your ladies flowers. It’s so cliche now that it’s not cliche. No one expects it. So do it. You can be original by being like…unoriginal. You too can be like Worteh Sampson.)
